Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ready...Set...Won't Go

"You never ready for what you have to do...you just do it and that in itself makes you ready."

Yeah nifty quote right? It's true actually and it's quite sad. No one is ever really ready for what is going to be thrown there way yet they still have to go through their life and do it. I guess that's why they say life isn't a rehearsal. Lately I've been having tons of stuff thrown at me and it's insane. But i'm finally getting it all under control...there's just one problem. MY MOM AND DAD!!! Don't get me wrong I love my parents and I respect, appreciate, and adore them. However they just are really over-protective. I mean I can't go to Prom because they think i'm not ready...FOR PROM! Yeah I'm whining sorry...I just don't get it. Honestly I don't see the harm in me going to a dance. She is however firm in her decision so thats a no go.

Partially though it's my friends...she doesn't think they are good for me and all that. She just doesn't get that they are my only option. Besides E.D. I mean I can't exactly just ditch them. I have a settling attitude is what she says. That or my parents think i'm better than I am which i think is the thing. I mean i know i'm not ugly...but i'm not exactly "America's Next Top Model" either. They act like i'm a child prodigy and no one is good enough. they really just need to understand that I'm not the best, and i'm really not that great. I don't have the shine or sparkle or glammor or anything that it takes to be considered worth something in today's world. Most people would be all depressed about it, but i'm content with being who I am even if it means not getting the hot new guy, or not running the fastes, or being the smartest, or the skinniest or anything like that. I am good enough for my friends and that's good enough for me. They aren't bringing me down or anything...if anything they are lifting me up the social ladder so i go from being total social trash to being at the least a social reject. I probably sound pretty pathetic, but believe it or not i'm completely satisfied with who I am.

Like I said earlier you're never ready for what you need to do. People need to realize that no matter how much sheltering you do, or how many defenses you put up...life is gonna slap you in your face. Maybe i'm not ready for prom, maybe i am emotionally fragile, but i'm not just gonna sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for the moment when i am ready for anything. Which in actuality that moment will never come! I guess I just want my chance to get out there and live my life, but I still want to cling to my mother and hug my daddy...there will be a moment when I will get out there and not look back, but not today...Today i'm just gonna let them shelter me. So no prom, no boyfriend, no parties Ms. McCurdy! *sniffle* even if I would look drop dead gorgeous in my dress, or on date, but the party thing wouldn't work anyway *smirk* i'm a horrid dancer :p

I guess what i'm trying to say through all my senseless babbling is that in my own way I am ready...but not willing to go.

I'm ready

I'm Set

Won't Go


  1. OK im getting spoilt (that is texan for spoiled). One of my first things of the morning is to check all my blogs and yours has not changed. Love you Grandma

  2. You better get back in the habit of blogging cause I expect yto read this while you are in Georgia.

    Maybe I won't miss you so bad then.

    I love you